I have no interest in obedience 

​

And neither does watercolor

 

We’re both beautifully unwilling.

 

Unwilling to obey,

unwilling to stay inside the lines,

unwilling to become exactly what I asked of it.

 

The water has its own agenda.

The pigment follows until it doesn’t.

Together, they create something neither

​

certainty

​

nor

 

perfection

​

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

could ever produce.

 

There is something almost sacred about watching that happen.

 

I’ve spent years trying to make sense of things by holding them still—people,

   memories,

       seasons of my life.

 

Watercolor reminds me that some things become more beautiful because they move.

Because they blur.

Because they refuse to remain exactly as they were.

 

Every painting feels less like something I’ve made and more like something I’ve witnessed.

 

Perhaps that’s why I’ve fallen so deeply for it.

 

It doesn’t reward control.

 

It rewards trust.

​